I'm really tired of this depression thing. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever feel better. Better is all relative, but it has to get better than this.
Good things...yet another doctor taking care of me, switching medications, a sleep aid that made me realize I wasn't sleeping well at all, and the usual things that are worth mentioning time and time again - a patient husband, loving friends, kitties who purr and snuggle at all the right times.
But it really bothers me that I can't find the motivation to do anything after work. I should pick up because some friends are coming to stay tomorrow. I should put clean sheets on their bed. (That WILL get done - I'm not a gross hostess.) I should do anything. Yet eating dinner and opening the computer are the only things I've done tonight. Other than curling up with a quilt on the couch.
Earlier this week, days were good. I even had energy. And then it all comes crashing down.
Karin, you know it's okay to have these days. It's okay to let yourself feel like just snuggling in for a while. And it's even okay to not feel guilty for it! This healing process can really be draining. And besides the fact that our body's physically are trying to find some balance, our emotions and spirits, are looking for that as well. It just takes time. Be patient with yourself, and let yourself be okay just hanging out sometimes. love you friend, Kristie
ReplyDeleteTry not to be too hard on yourself. Sometimes we need that rest! It dosn't mean you are moving backwards. Lots of love and prayers to you. xxx You are in good hands!
ReplyDeleteME TOO!!! For someone as OCD as I am, you'd never know it to walk in my house.
ReplyDeleteI worry about robbers breaking in because then the police will have to come and see the dog hair all over the floor.
The motivation to do nothing is strong. And I hate it.
Lifting you up, friend!!! xoxo
And I just have to say that the sec. word is pretifur--as in, "I bet your kitties have pretifur."
Okay..a sad attempt at a smile but since I hate exercise and will NEVER get endorphins that way, gotta aim for a laugh!
Just want you to know you are not alone. Just the simple tasks of living are exhausting when your heart is hurting so much. Praying for you!
ReplyDeleteSome days you're just less motivated than others and that's ok! It'll all be there another day!
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