Tuesday, April 27, 2010

release, waken, renew

There is so much on my mind, but I'm having a hard time articulating it all right now. I'm riding those tidal waves of grief, and what follows sometimes is numbness.

I like finding solace and rest in the words of others when I struggle to find my own. For my birthday, my mom gave me Guerillas of Grace by Ted Loder, a book of "prayers for the battle." I love the imagery that he uses and the symmetry of his words. The punctuation and line breaks make it read like beautiful poetry in additional to a heartfelt meditation. Here is one prayer that speaks to me today.

"Waken in Me a Gratitude for My Life"
O God, complete the work you have begun in me.
Release through me
   a flow of mercy and gentleness that will bring
   water where there is desert,
   healing where there is hurt,
   peace where there is violence,
   beauty where there is ugliness,
   justice where there is brokenness,
   beginnings where there are dead-ends.
Waken in me
   gratitude for my life,
   love for every living thing,
   joy in what is human and holy,
   praise for you.
Renew my faith that you are God
   beyond my grasp
      but within my reach;
   past my knowing
      but within my searching;
   disturber of the assured,
      assurer of the disturbed;
   destroyer of illusions,
       creator of dreams;
   source of silence and music,
      sex and solitude,
         light and darkness,
            death and life.
O Keeper of Promises, composer of grace,
grant me glee in my blood,
         prayer in my heart,
            trust at my core,
               songs for my journey,
                  and a sense of your kingdom.

What wonderful action verbs! I like the specificity of the prayers to God, recognizing there are parts of me to work on, but knowing that only by the grace of can I do it. I also need the reminder to live in the moment and express gratitude for all I have been given. There is so much that is good, yet it is easy to be caught up in what is not. I'll rest in these words tonight.

3 kind words:

  1. Beautiful! Thank you for sharing!

  2. Lifting you up and resting in those words with you! They were beautiful!

  3. Those were beautiful words. I love the imagery that was evoked with them. I love how people can express themselves with words (a trait I do not have). Thinking of you, Karin...