Thursday, September 2, 2010

just hanging in there

This week has had lots of good things! These are the moments when my heart and mind are content, and the worry stays at bay. These are the moments I hold onto during the other times.
  • A great date night at Garrison Keillor's (of the Prairie Home Companion radio show) Summer Love tour. Lawn seats were not only cheaper, they had the best views! He sang, told stories, and ambled around the audience for well over two hours. Even though it was a bit cool (we were in an outdoor ampitheater), windy and rainy, we left with smiling and singing.
  • A relatively uneventful weekend. We passed the 14 week mark with no reasons to worry. I didn't do much other than hang out and grow a baby. :)
  • Fun friends scrappin' and stamping' the night away. I love my monthly scrapbooking group at church! I was working on cards this month, but it still felt good to get my hands in that paper.
  • An indulgent evening watching the Emmys. I like awards shows and the red carpet interviews. Paul doesn't. At all. That's why it's good that we have TVs in separate rooms some days.
  • Days that are finally cooling off. I am much more comfortable in the crisp fall air than the sticky, heavy, hot air of summer. My favorite - wearing sweaters and my Birkenstocks at the same time.
Sunday night brought a bump in the week. My parents had spent the weekend here helping my brother move into his college house, and learned on their drive home that one of their cats was killed on the highway by there house. Paul and I had just gone to bed and were talking about how this day we were anticipating turned out to be just fine. Until my mom sent that text message.

I just don't know how to process sad news now. I can't separate it from my own feelings of loss. Mom's cats are the same age as mine, and they definitely aren't my pets, but I still know them well. And more than that, I know how mom loved her little Lita. Pets are members of our family, and they make their way into our hearts forever.

My heart just hurts a lot. For little Lita's brother and playmate who keeps looking for her. For my mom. For my babies. I can't even write that without the tears coming. Monday was a mental health day. I slept, recovered from the massive headache (stress headaches + pregnancy = wish I could take more than Tylenol), and snuggled my kitties. I also thought about how I need to protect my emotions, including asking that difficult news be shared with me in a certain way. I just have to be gentle with myself.

3 kind words:

  1. I'm sorry that you're moments of joy were mixed with sadness. It's a real bummer when that happens. Just wanted to send some love your way **hugs**
    Praying that you have a happy and healthy 9 months!

  2. I'm sorry about your mom's cat :( Our pets are like family!!

    Glad you have passed the 14w mark!!

  3. You are right--our pets are SUCH members of our family and it hurts so much to lose them...especially tragically. I'm sorry for your mom and for your tender heart too.