As far as baby goes, today's appointment was great! Size looks good with a strong heartbeat. Baby was waving at us. :) I feel great, though I'm down one pound.
The panic set in when she couldn't find the heartbeat with the doppler. After several minutes. My placenta is forming a bit on the front side, and I have a little extra padding as it is, so I know it's tough to find still. Even though I KNOW that, my mind isn't exactly at ease. And my doctor is great; she just kept reassuring me, and then went to get the ultrasound. But it took longer than usual to pull up a good picture, so more minutes of panic. In total, it couldn't have been more than five or six minutes total, but it felt like an eternity until we saw that flicker and the movement. She actually started to turn off the machine when she realized that she forgot to print us a picture. So we have another little picture to add to our growing collection.
She said there was no need to cause me unnecessary worry, so we'll check on things again very soon. I'm going back to see her in two weeks, which will be 15 weeks and smack-dab between the points of loss with our other babies. Then at 18 weeks, I'll see her again, have an ultrasound and do an early glucose test. Since my dad is diabetic, she's not taking anything lightly! :)
When she was filling out the slip for me to schedule appointments, she said she had to put a special sticker on it so I could get a 15-minute appointment and not a seven-minute appointment. She said I'm not a seven-minute kind of person. :) Both Paul and I feel so comfortable with her because we know she's taking care of us.
Even though I had baby's picture in hand and saw that wonderful heartbeat, I couldn't stop crying. It's all so emotional and overwhelming when I'm in her office, and I'm flooded with flashbacks and worry. After lots of hugs from Paul in the parking lot, my panic attack started to subside. I just can't wait for appointments that are so routine they border on boring.
I want nothing more than to be an easy seven-minute appointment.