settling in

I feel like I'm finally starting to settle in and enjoy this pregnancy. After passing week 17 and the anatomy scan, I have felt absolutely wonderful. I guess that's what happens when you let some stress go away... We're telling people about the pregnancy in normal conversation (like our five-year college reunion this weekend!), it's now out at work, and it all feels so good. When other people are excited, it reminds me that this is an exciting time, not just a time filled with worry. The worry is still there, no doubt, but I enjoy having fun.

That said, there were a couple stressful moments last week. My dad is diabetic, so my doctor had me do an early glucose screen at 18 weeks. I didn't pass the one-hour. :( BUT I did pass the three-hour. :) Even though all four of my draws passed easily, and my fasting glucose was outstanding, the nurse said my doctor will go ahead and treat me as gestational diabetic. I'm very frustrated. I completely understand the risks of untreated and unmonitored diabetes, and how devastating it can be when baby is born. I also have a good understanding of how to monitor carbs, sugars and diet living in close proximity to it for much of my life. I do have a high risk factor (dad), but I've passed the test. My weight gain is -5 pounds at 19 weeks, I'm eating well, and there has been no sign of sugar in my urine, which has been tested every two weeks at my regular appointments. My A1C was just tested a couple months ago (and is a better indicator of glucose levels for several reasons), and it is just where it should be.

More than anything, I just don't need to create something to worry about in this pregnancy. I don't need the extra stress about worrying something that isn't creating a problem. If all the tests were positive, I'd be the first asking for a plan. I see my doctor next week for a regular appointment, so I told the nurse I wanted to talk it over with my doctor to better understand before I go off seeing nutritionists and the endocrinologist. I'm hoping that we'll do another glucose tolerance test in 8-10 weeks, while I continue to eat well and exercise, and take it from there. (I'm doing my best not to get worked up about it until then. Some days are better than others.) If urine were to show sugar earlier, we'll address it right away. But if not, I just want a few weeks of not creating additional stress. I think that's reasonable.

I continue to be surprised at how much these bumps in the road derail me. Most days (especially lately) will  be great, but I don't realize how high my stress level is until I have no reserves to handle something unexpected. The most important thing is to bring home a healthy baby, and every day I look for the balance in how to do that.

That was a long vent...good thing I put the happier update at the top. :)