In two weeks or so, I'll have a baby in my ARMS!! We can hardly believe that we made it this far. Baby can come anytime, though it would be good to put in another week at work, lest I leave some not-so-fun reports for someone else to figure out. I'm just so excited!
I'll be 37 weeks on Sunday, and then Monday is a big day. We're doing growth measurements in addition to the regular biophysical profile, and my doctor is setting an induction date. She'll also check my cervix for the first time. I know it doesn't mean a whole lot, but I'm curious. :)
All of the weekly appointments, BPPs and NSTs have been great. Baby is still rather stubborn for the NSTs though...he or she likes to hide from the monitor or kick it off. Last week a nurse had to stay and hold it in place because we couldn't get more than three minutes of recording at a time! Baby was much more cooperative yesterday.
Braxton Hicks contractions are definitely picking up, and a few are even painful. They were registering on the NST yesterday, but were still mild and definitely not regular. My body aches all the time, but I expect that for being nine months pregnant. I'm all baby!!
Tomorrow is our second baby shower, and I love how excited Paul is. Lots of friends, our parents and siblings will be there - boys included. All of these people have been with us on this journey, and we are looking forward to CELEBRATING this baby!
Paul says it's time I share the baby and wants baby to come any day. I do too, but I also want baby to bake as long as needed. I have loved being pregnant, and I'm not going to wish away the days. I am simply grateful for every. single. one.
I keep up on reading blogs, but I've been not so good about writing. I'm working on that. Soon I'll be sharing pictures of baby!!!!!
Showing posts with label baby. Show all posts
Showing posts with label baby. Show all posts
Friday, February 4, 2011
Sunday, January 16, 2011
another new nephew!!
Baby number two for our family is here! Sylas Samuel was born this morning!! I hear he's a blondie. About 10 weeks ago, Gabriel joined us, and in another five weeks MY baby will join this brood!
At a little after midnight, Paul's mom sent the first text...they're at the hospital. So of course I could hardly sleep! We were up late, and so Paul was texting his brother. At about 2 am, my SIL just had the epidural and contractions were two minutes apart. The next text came at about 7.30 am from Paul's mom that they just broke M's water. FINALLY, shortly before noon, we learned Sylas had arrived an hour before! I dreamt of M in labor all night, and every time I woke up (which is a lot now at 34 weeks), I made Paul text for updates. We're spoiled in this instant gratification world.
Which is why we're planning not to share any hospital/labor/baby information until baby is here. Paul's mom will send updates to everyone in her phone with any info that is shared. We've been on the receiving end of a cousin's dilation progress, and I just don't care to share that much detail. It may be difficult to keep the induction date to ourselves, but regardless, we've made (and will continue to emphasize) that we do not want anyone waiting at the hospital ready to storm the doors.
We need new family time with just Paul, me and baby. After the journey we've been on, we're even more protective of our space and emotions. Our family is anticipating this little one, too, and we are so excited to share. But we need our time.
And as excited as I've been ALL DAY about little Sylas, we've stayed away from the hospital. In part because the roads are iffy for the 70 mile drive, but mostly because we want to give them space. The grandparents are there today; we'll see baby soon. I'm just as eager to talk with M to hear how things went, but that can wait.
With Paul's parents there today, at least I can count on some pictures by email a later tonight.
At a little after midnight, Paul's mom sent the first text...they're at the hospital. So of course I could hardly sleep! We were up late, and so Paul was texting his brother. At about 2 am, my SIL just had the epidural and contractions were two minutes apart. The next text came at about 7.30 am from Paul's mom that they just broke M's water. FINALLY, shortly before noon, we learned Sylas had arrived an hour before! I dreamt of M in labor all night, and every time I woke up (which is a lot now at 34 weeks), I made Paul text for updates. We're spoiled in this instant gratification world.
Which is why we're planning not to share any hospital/labor/baby information until baby is here. Paul's mom will send updates to everyone in her phone with any info that is shared. We've been on the receiving end of a cousin's dilation progress, and I just don't care to share that much detail. It may be difficult to keep the induction date to ourselves, but regardless, we've made (and will continue to emphasize) that we do not want anyone waiting at the hospital ready to storm the doors.
We need new family time with just Paul, me and baby. After the journey we've been on, we're even more protective of our space and emotions. Our family is anticipating this little one, too, and we are so excited to share. But we need our time.
And as excited as I've been ALL DAY about little Sylas, we've stayed away from the hospital. In part because the roads are iffy for the 70 mile drive, but mostly because we want to give them space. The grandparents are there today; we'll see baby soon. I'm just as eager to talk with M to hear how things went, but that can wait.
With Paul's parents there today, at least I can count on some pictures by email a later tonight.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
revisiting Christmas...pondering the new year...and 32 weeks!
It's been nearly a month since I last wrote, and there is no specific reason why. Most importantly, baby is healthy and so am I.
Christmas was really hard for me this year, and as I was reading others' blogs, I saw that I was certainly not alone. It was harder than last year, maybe because last year I was in too much shock still from the recent miscarriage to feel much of anything else. This year, I just couldn't engage. Usually, I LOVE to decorate for the holidays. As usual, it took a week of reminding for Paul to bring in my totes of Christmas things. For about one hour, I pulled things out and put them in their usual places. He set up the tree. That's as far as we got. At one point, I suggested we just put up lights on the tree, but we never even made it that far. Everything came down right after Christmas, when I usually like to enjoy it until almost February. We never got around to taking a Christmas card picture, let alone order cards or write a letter. And all of this was okay. Okay because these are the material things. I love the tradition, but my heart just wasn't in it this year.
I had been a bit nervous about Christmas Eve church services because of how everything had been going, and last year, I nearly had a panic attack as I tried to avoid people. Instead, I basked in a wonderful feeling of calm. My heart still connected with the wonder of the birth of Jesus. And I loved every minute. Mom and I (and sometimes Grandma) have been playing piano-organ duets for about 15 years for every Christmas Eve service and this year was no different. This year I loved sitting at the front of the church in my cute shirt that showed off my baby belly while playing the music that reaches in so deeply. The hardest part - trying to keep playing while people think it's a good time to start a conversation and hug me.
As usual, the pastor's Christmas sermon was perfect. The first part focused on what the angels said as they approached Mary and others. Do not be afraid. I felt like that was spoken just for me. Do not be afraid. Everything will be okay because God is taking care of me. And the tears are starting again now. I really couldn't hold back the tears when the pastor went to pick up a three-week old baby. This is how Jesus came to us. As a child, as one of us, to live among us and die for us. Wow. That's overwhelming. A baby. I'll have a baby in my arms soon. My admiration for Mary grows even more. There's much to be afraid of, but there's no need. This has been a lot for me to process, from the larger Christmas season to the specific sermon. My heart is peaceful.
====
On New Year's Eve, Paul and I talked about the last two years. (In case you didn't see it on the news, North Dakota enjoyed a couple of blizzards over New Year's. We ate eggs and toast for dinner that night and didn't leave the house for days.) I said I would go so far to call 2009 a bad year. With two miscarriages, the death of a niece, many weeks of both anxious pregnancies and heart-wrenching grieving, it was not good. As for 2010, it was hard. But hard doesn't necessarily mean bad. I worked really hard in 2010 on myself. I committed to doing my grief work, and found the most incredible network of women. I struggled with my depression and worked through it in a variety of manners. I saw a counselor regularly and then a psychiatrist. We found the right combination of medication to help me. In the middle of that all, I was undergoing tests to try to find out why my body wouldn't carry a baby through the second trimester. I received a diagnosis of a genetic blood clotting disorder. It's not necessarily life-changing, but it drastically changed how future pregnancies would be tended. All of this happened in the first five months of the year.
In June I found out I was pregnant again. My excitement outweighed the fear, but probably not by a measurable amount. From day one, I've been on Lovenox. It's obviously working and I will fight to make sure we follow the same regimen with future pregnancies. But that's been hard - letting go of my own needle discomfort for the good of me and my baby. I did so happily and understand being a mother just a bit more. I've spent more hours at the doctor than I'm sure some women do throughout their childbearing years. But I've done so eagerly, and always leaving with my mind and heart more at ease. In December I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes. The nutritionist told me the other day, as I gave her two weeks of food diaries and blood sugar charts, that tracking is hard work. Yes, but it hasn't been bad. I was quite proud of being able to show them how healthfully I eat (actually changing very little) and my excellent blood sugar patterns. I'm doing so well, in fact, that I no longer have to keep a food diary and I only check sugars twice each day. I know how foods affect my levels, and spot checking keeps me honest. It's hard, but not bad. Being pregnant is hard work all by itself. These additional layers certainly add to that, but hard does not mean bad. And good can, and often is, hard. Now, Paul tells me I'm good at being pregnant. Who would have thought?!
That's my update...perhaps mildly interesting at best. Baby updates are more interesting.
====
On Monday I started weekly BPPs and OB appointments, and today I start weekly NSTs. At 32 weeks, baby measured about 1.5 weeks ahead, weighing in at approximately 4lbs 11oz. I've been guessing baby will be an eight-pounder all along, and I may be right. Baby scored 8/8 on the BPP...it was so fun to watch him/her breathing! Now I can't wait to go listen to that heartbeat in a few hours. My blood pressure remains very good (112/64 consistently), no bleeding or cramping, and I'm still losing weight. Overall, I have lost five pounds this pregnancy. My doctor said she's not worried because baby has been growing right on track and is thriving. She did say that it would be okay if I happened to gain 10 lbs now, but not to worry about it. Maybe having a baby will be the unexpected start of a bit of weight loss!
Baby's room is set up now! I need to load the photos onto the computer, and then I'll post. I've actually had energy the last two weeks and have accomplished a fair amount of organizing, cleaning and setting up. We have a baby room, and I can just sit in there for hours. It's no longer the extra bedroom; it's baby's room. We're bringing home a baby next month!
Christmas was really hard for me this year, and as I was reading others' blogs, I saw that I was certainly not alone. It was harder than last year, maybe because last year I was in too much shock still from the recent miscarriage to feel much of anything else. This year, I just couldn't engage. Usually, I LOVE to decorate for the holidays. As usual, it took a week of reminding for Paul to bring in my totes of Christmas things. For about one hour, I pulled things out and put them in their usual places. He set up the tree. That's as far as we got. At one point, I suggested we just put up lights on the tree, but we never even made it that far. Everything came down right after Christmas, when I usually like to enjoy it until almost February. We never got around to taking a Christmas card picture, let alone order cards or write a letter. And all of this was okay. Okay because these are the material things. I love the tradition, but my heart just wasn't in it this year.
I had been a bit nervous about Christmas Eve church services because of how everything had been going, and last year, I nearly had a panic attack as I tried to avoid people. Instead, I basked in a wonderful feeling of calm. My heart still connected with the wonder of the birth of Jesus. And I loved every minute. Mom and I (and sometimes Grandma) have been playing piano-organ duets for about 15 years for every Christmas Eve service and this year was no different. This year I loved sitting at the front of the church in my cute shirt that showed off my baby belly while playing the music that reaches in so deeply. The hardest part - trying to keep playing while people think it's a good time to start a conversation and hug me.
As usual, the pastor's Christmas sermon was perfect. The first part focused on what the angels said as they approached Mary and others. Do not be afraid. I felt like that was spoken just for me. Do not be afraid. Everything will be okay because God is taking care of me. And the tears are starting again now. I really couldn't hold back the tears when the pastor went to pick up a three-week old baby. This is how Jesus came to us. As a child, as one of us, to live among us and die for us. Wow. That's overwhelming. A baby. I'll have a baby in my arms soon. My admiration for Mary grows even more. There's much to be afraid of, but there's no need. This has been a lot for me to process, from the larger Christmas season to the specific sermon. My heart is peaceful.
====
On New Year's Eve, Paul and I talked about the last two years. (In case you didn't see it on the news, North Dakota enjoyed a couple of blizzards over New Year's. We ate eggs and toast for dinner that night and didn't leave the house for days.) I said I would go so far to call 2009 a bad year. With two miscarriages, the death of a niece, many weeks of both anxious pregnancies and heart-wrenching grieving, it was not good. As for 2010, it was hard. But hard doesn't necessarily mean bad. I worked really hard in 2010 on myself. I committed to doing my grief work, and found the most incredible network of women. I struggled with my depression and worked through it in a variety of manners. I saw a counselor regularly and then a psychiatrist. We found the right combination of medication to help me. In the middle of that all, I was undergoing tests to try to find out why my body wouldn't carry a baby through the second trimester. I received a diagnosis of a genetic blood clotting disorder. It's not necessarily life-changing, but it drastically changed how future pregnancies would be tended. All of this happened in the first five months of the year.
In June I found out I was pregnant again. My excitement outweighed the fear, but probably not by a measurable amount. From day one, I've been on Lovenox. It's obviously working and I will fight to make sure we follow the same regimen with future pregnancies. But that's been hard - letting go of my own needle discomfort for the good of me and my baby. I did so happily and understand being a mother just a bit more. I've spent more hours at the doctor than I'm sure some women do throughout their childbearing years. But I've done so eagerly, and always leaving with my mind and heart more at ease. In December I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes. The nutritionist told me the other day, as I gave her two weeks of food diaries and blood sugar charts, that tracking is hard work. Yes, but it hasn't been bad. I was quite proud of being able to show them how healthfully I eat (actually changing very little) and my excellent blood sugar patterns. I'm doing so well, in fact, that I no longer have to keep a food diary and I only check sugars twice each day. I know how foods affect my levels, and spot checking keeps me honest. It's hard, but not bad. Being pregnant is hard work all by itself. These additional layers certainly add to that, but hard does not mean bad. And good can, and often is, hard. Now, Paul tells me I'm good at being pregnant. Who would have thought?!
That's my update...perhaps mildly interesting at best. Baby updates are more interesting.
====
On Monday I started weekly BPPs and OB appointments, and today I start weekly NSTs. At 32 weeks, baby measured about 1.5 weeks ahead, weighing in at approximately 4lbs 11oz. I've been guessing baby will be an eight-pounder all along, and I may be right. Baby scored 8/8 on the BPP...it was so fun to watch him/her breathing! Now I can't wait to go listen to that heartbeat in a few hours. My blood pressure remains very good (112/64 consistently), no bleeding or cramping, and I'm still losing weight. Overall, I have lost five pounds this pregnancy. My doctor said she's not worried because baby has been growing right on track and is thriving. She did say that it would be okay if I happened to gain 10 lbs now, but not to worry about it. Maybe having a baby will be the unexpected start of a bit of weight loss!
Baby's room is set up now! I need to load the photos onto the computer, and then I'll post. I've actually had energy the last two weeks and have accomplished a fair amount of organizing, cleaning and setting up. We have a baby room, and I can just sit in there for hours. It's no longer the extra bedroom; it's baby's room. We're bringing home a baby next month!
Monday, December 6, 2010
28 weeks...and first trip to labor & delivery
It's been a baby-action packed few days and this is long. I'm exhausted, and providing a good home to a bunch of cold germs doesn't make it any easier!
First, we had our 28 week appointment on Friday! I managed to schedule labs, ultrasound and OB for the same day, so I just took the day off work. I repeated the three-hour glucose and didn't pass this time. Or rather, I was borderline, but she chose not to pass me. My fasting glucose is excellent, but my body is a bit sluggish to process that sugar after an hour. I'm waiting for the nurse to call to set me up with a nutritionist appointment.
And I'm okay with this. I more or less knew this is where we were heading, giving my strong family history and marginal passing results last time. I am much more emotionally equipped than had I needed to start the regimen at 18 weeks. And I will do ANYTHING in my power to ensure a healthy baby arriving safely. I'm down 2.5 pounds from four weeks ago which leaves me with a net loss of 5 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight. At this rate, Dr. B. wants me to put on 10 pounds in the next 10-11 weeks. My weight has definitely been redistributing!
Hemoglobin was on the low side of normal but fine, and the RH antibodies test came back negative so I was able to get the Rhogam shot later that afternoon. After three hours sitting in the lab, I had a good length scarf knit!
The ultrasound was great. Baby is BIG, measuring about two weeks ahead. We're going to check growth again in four weeks, but my OB isn't concerned about the size-GD correlation at this point because babies long bones were measuring ahead, too. We saw baby's mouth opening, the most perfect leg profile (all the better to kick with), and legs crossed tightly at the knees. We don't want to know the sex, and baby made sure we couldn't accidentally find out. Baby's heart rate is consistently around 150.
The only downside to the day (other than the GD stuff) was that we had to wait to hours to see Dr. B. It was her on-call day, and I knew that. But we weren't complaining. We've never really had to wait before, and who knows what she was handling that day. I'm sure I've caused her to run behind before!
Yesterday was my SIL's baby shower about an hour drive away. After a quick breakfast with my parents and shopping with my mom - she wanted to buy me a Christmas outfit! - we were on the road. I don't normally feel baby move when I'm in the car, so I didn't think too much about a lack of movement until we were back home. After an hour, only four movements. After three hours, two big glasses of juice, one piece of bunt cake and three trips to the bathroom, only six movements. So I called the nurse line in the birth center, and they suggested I come in for some monitoring.
So off we went. I was crying because I thought that if the nurse said to come in versus telling me to do something at home, maybe there was something wrong. I was 95 percent sure everything was fine, but that last 5 percent nagged at me. Now there is a different kind of fear...knowing that baby has a good outlook if born now (though I fully intend to bake him or her longer), makes me scared that I'll miss a warning sign and the chance to get baby out safely. *sigh* Always something.
I love my hospital and the nurses. Our nurse was SO WONDERFUL and she made me feel like we did the right thing. Absolutely no indication that we overreacted. After a good 20 minutes on the monitors, with baby's steady heart rate averaging around 150 with good accels and decels, we were cleared to go home. And of course baby decided to show off once hooked up because I got all sorts of good kicks and movements. No contractions and LOTS of movement noted on the strip. Just perfect. But there was nothing better than just listening to baby and trying to pick out the movement and when my coughing changed up the heart beat.
So today we both took a sick day. After the late night and bodies coursing with adrenaline, combined with an aching back and ribs from coughing for me, we needed to relax and decompress. Baby enjoyed the day at home too; moving ALL day for mommy.
see heartbeatfinish progesterone14 weeks - scary date #118 weeks - scary date #220 weeks - halfway!24 weeks - viability28 weeks - next ultrasound; start biweekly appointments*first trip to labor and delivery - 28w
First, we had our 28 week appointment on Friday! I managed to schedule labs, ultrasound and OB for the same day, so I just took the day off work. I repeated the three-hour glucose and didn't pass this time. Or rather, I was borderline, but she chose not to pass me. My fasting glucose is excellent, but my body is a bit sluggish to process that sugar after an hour. I'm waiting for the nurse to call to set me up with a nutritionist appointment.
And I'm okay with this. I more or less knew this is where we were heading, giving my strong family history and marginal passing results last time. I am much more emotionally equipped than had I needed to start the regimen at 18 weeks. And I will do ANYTHING in my power to ensure a healthy baby arriving safely. I'm down 2.5 pounds from four weeks ago which leaves me with a net loss of 5 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight. At this rate, Dr. B. wants me to put on 10 pounds in the next 10-11 weeks. My weight has definitely been redistributing!
Hemoglobin was on the low side of normal but fine, and the RH antibodies test came back negative so I was able to get the Rhogam shot later that afternoon. After three hours sitting in the lab, I had a good length scarf knit!
The ultrasound was great. Baby is BIG, measuring about two weeks ahead. We're going to check growth again in four weeks, but my OB isn't concerned about the size-GD correlation at this point because babies long bones were measuring ahead, too. We saw baby's mouth opening, the most perfect leg profile (all the better to kick with), and legs crossed tightly at the knees. We don't want to know the sex, and baby made sure we couldn't accidentally find out. Baby's heart rate is consistently around 150.
The only downside to the day (other than the GD stuff) was that we had to wait to hours to see Dr. B. It was her on-call day, and I knew that. But we weren't complaining. We've never really had to wait before, and who knows what she was handling that day. I'm sure I've caused her to run behind before!
Yesterday was my SIL's baby shower about an hour drive away. After a quick breakfast with my parents and shopping with my mom - she wanted to buy me a Christmas outfit! - we were on the road. I don't normally feel baby move when I'm in the car, so I didn't think too much about a lack of movement until we were back home. After an hour, only four movements. After three hours, two big glasses of juice, one piece of bunt cake and three trips to the bathroom, only six movements. So I called the nurse line in the birth center, and they suggested I come in for some monitoring.
So off we went. I was crying because I thought that if the nurse said to come in versus telling me to do something at home, maybe there was something wrong. I was 95 percent sure everything was fine, but that last 5 percent nagged at me. Now there is a different kind of fear...knowing that baby has a good outlook if born now (though I fully intend to bake him or her longer), makes me scared that I'll miss a warning sign and the chance to get baby out safely. *sigh* Always something.
I love my hospital and the nurses. Our nurse was SO WONDERFUL and she made me feel like we did the right thing. Absolutely no indication that we overreacted. After a good 20 minutes on the monitors, with baby's steady heart rate averaging around 150 with good accels and decels, we were cleared to go home. And of course baby decided to show off once hooked up because I got all sorts of good kicks and movements. No contractions and LOTS of movement noted on the strip. Just perfect. But there was nothing better than just listening to baby and trying to pick out the movement and when my coughing changed up the heart beat.
So today we both took a sick day. After the late night and bodies coursing with adrenaline, combined with an aching back and ribs from coughing for me, we needed to relax and decompress. Baby enjoyed the day at home too; moving ALL day for mommy.
The updated milestone checklist:
32 weeks - next ultrasound; start weekly appointments
36 weeks - start heparin
37 weeks - full term
39 weeks - baby in my arms
*added to the list, but not planned.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
daddy's first book
Paul read his first book to baby tonight. Before he started, he said, "I've never read a book to a baby before." It was so sweet. We were trying to get some good kicks out of baby, but silly baby was being shy. I like family time. :) The book Paul chose:
 |
| Papa, please get the moon for me by Eric Carle |
The first time I read to baby:
 |
| The Sonnets of Shakespeare |
Friday, November 19, 2010
daddy got a kick
Last night Paul felt baby move for the first time! Baby has been super active in the evenings, and last night while we were lying in bed, I asked Paul to tell baby about his night. (He feels less awkward when he talks about something specific, so last night baby heard about the plans for brewing a big batch of Scottish ale with the homebrew club.) Baby started wiggling even more and gave two really big kicks. Paul was so excited! After that, he started to feel the subtle kicks, too.
It was so fun! He was so happy to feel it for himself; he's been trying for at least the last eight weeks. These bonding moments are amazing. I have a feeling I'll have a hand on my belly even more often now. :)
It was so fun! He was so happy to feel it for himself; he's been trying for at least the last eight weeks. These bonding moments are amazing. I have a feeling I'll have a hand on my belly even more often now. :)
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
24 weeks and thankful
Sunday marked 24 weeks of baking for this baby! One of the things I was excited to do was to update the checklist below. In true obsessive list-maker fashion, I had to add a couple of lines, mostly to have more things to cross off.
milestone checklist
see heartbeat
finish progesterone
14 weeks - scary date #1
18 weeks - scary date #2
20 weeks - halfway!
24 weeks - viability
28 weeks - next ultrasound; start biweekly appointments
32 weeks - start weekly appointments
36 weeks - start heparin
37 weeks - full term
39 weeks - baby in my arms
On Monday we had our first OB appointment in four weeks. I realize that four weeks is a normal length of time between visits for most people, but I, like many of you, am not most people. But we made it! Anxiety is certainly calmed by the movement this baby shares with me all day every day, and some of those jabs are starting to take my breath away. I'm incubating a hockey-playing space heater!
Everything is perfect. I don't use perfect often or lightly, but really, this pregnancy has been perfect. I enjoy being pregnant (which is something I never imagined saying), and I'm sure it has much to do with the thankfulness I relish in each day. Every day is another day I thank God that I have been given this baby to love and to carry.
Here are a few updates from my appointment:
I am so very thankful and my heart is full. Most of all, I'm thankful for this little one and all of the babies who are making healthy entrances into the world.
milestone checklist
28 weeks - next ultrasound; start biweekly appointments
32 weeks - start weekly appointments
36 weeks - start heparin
37 weeks - full term
39 weeks - baby in my arms
On Monday we had our first OB appointment in four weeks. I realize that four weeks is a normal length of time between visits for most people, but I, like many of you, am not most people. But we made it! Anxiety is certainly calmed by the movement this baby shares with me all day every day, and some of those jabs are starting to take my breath away. I'm incubating a hockey-playing space heater!
Everything is perfect. I don't use perfect often or lightly, but really, this pregnancy has been perfect. I enjoy being pregnant (which is something I never imagined saying), and I'm sure it has much to do with the thankfulness I relish in each day. Every day is another day I thank God that I have been given this baby to love and to carry.
Here are a few updates from my appointment:
- excellent blood pressure again
- weight gain of -2 pounds
- baby is measuring a bit ahead
- baby still gives Dr. B a hard time finding the heartbeat, but it is very strong and steady
- plan for 27 weeks - repeat 3-hour glucose (I've resigned myself to the fact that I'm at risk); Rhogam shot; hemoglobin workup
- plan for 28 weeks - ultrasound and OB appointment
I am so very thankful and my heart is full. Most of all, I'm thankful for this little one and all of the babies who are making healthy entrances into the world.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
a new nephew to love
We are so excited that baby Gabriel is here! After a long night, he came at 8.52am yesterday...the exact same time as his sister Sophia. A meaningful time. My sister-in-law and baby are doing well. They're testing Gabe for group b strep today, and if all is good, he won't need antibiotics and they'll likely go home tomorrow!
After Sophia died at three weeks from meningitis caused by GBS - and doctors don't know how she got it - taking chances isn't worth it. Right now, they're keeping visitors to family only and being diligent about hand-washing. Other than doctor appointments, he'll be kept at home for a couple months with few visitors.
I just can't wait to snuggle him! Paul is going to his parents' for deer hunting, and I might go with...mostly because Gabe and family live only 30 minutes away. :) It will be fun to see the big brothers, too. I just love my nephews and niece, and there's another nephew on the way!
When my baby comes, there will be three new babies within three months. These cousins are going to have so much fun together!
It is interesting symmetry, though. Our family lost three babies in 2009. Sophia was the third child in her family. Three often represents the trinity of body, mind and spirit. We all felt weakness here. Three represents divine perfection. All of these babies are perfect because they are created by God. Growing a baby is divided into trimesters. And three represents the triune God. A perfect God. The Holy Spirit, which has comforted me so during this time, joins God the creator and Jesus our deliverer to complete the fullness of the Godhead. Google "symbolism of three," and you'll find all sorts of interesting things.
There is just so much to be thankful for. These babies are the hope that we've clung to. Now I pray for the safe and healthy arrival and infancy for them all.
After Sophia died at three weeks from meningitis caused by GBS - and doctors don't know how she got it - taking chances isn't worth it. Right now, they're keeping visitors to family only and being diligent about hand-washing. Other than doctor appointments, he'll be kept at home for a couple months with few visitors.
I just can't wait to snuggle him! Paul is going to his parents' for deer hunting, and I might go with...mostly because Gabe and family live only 30 minutes away. :) It will be fun to see the big brothers, too. I just love my nephews and niece, and there's another nephew on the way!
When my baby comes, there will be three new babies within three months. These cousins are going to have so much fun together!
It is interesting symmetry, though. Our family lost three babies in 2009. Sophia was the third child in her family. Three often represents the trinity of body, mind and spirit. We all felt weakness here. Three represents divine perfection. All of these babies are perfect because they are created by God. Growing a baby is divided into trimesters. And three represents the triune God. A perfect God. The Holy Spirit, which has comforted me so during this time, joins God the creator and Jesus our deliverer to complete the fullness of the Godhead. Google "symbolism of three," and you'll find all sorts of interesting things.
There is just so much to be thankful for. These babies are the hope that we've clung to. Now I pray for the safe and healthy arrival and infancy for them all.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
tempering the worry
The last two days I haven't felt baby move as much as I had been. I've still felt movement, just not too much. I did call my doctor's office though, and the nurse said to rest and occasionally eat or drink something sugary. **Baby just gave me a good kick. ** She said they don't get too concerned about decreased movement until after 28 weeks, but if I find myself worrying, I can go in to listen to that heartbeat.
I'm proud of myself. I haven't been beside myself with worry. Yesterday I did leave work early at the nurse's suggestion, but that's an easy thing I can do. I need to take care of myself and this little one. To be able to weigh my feelings (and my gut says everything is fine) shows progress. Despite the pregnancy hormones, I feel much more rational overall than about eight months ago. :)
That said, I appreciate your prayers that all continues to go well, and that this orange soda gives baby a sugar high.
I'm proud of myself. I haven't been beside myself with worry. Yesterday I did leave work early at the nurse's suggestion, but that's an easy thing I can do. I need to take care of myself and this little one. To be able to weigh my feelings (and my gut says everything is fine) shows progress. Despite the pregnancy hormones, I feel much more rational overall than about eight months ago. :)
That said, I appreciate your prayers that all continues to go well, and that this orange soda gives baby a sugar high.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
wiggling and bouncing
This little baby is big enough for me to feel lots of wiggles, bounces and somersaults everyday! I'm absolutely loving it. This daily reassurance that everything is okay are priceless.
I have to wait three more weeks until my next appointment, so it will be a full four weeks between. They couldn't fit me in with Dr. B earlier, and I really didn't want to see someone else. I'm feeling okay about it. Now. As usual, I was overwhelmed with emotions when surprised. But I will only be feeling baby move around more over the next few weeks.
Having the confidence to say when we bring baby home rather than if we will bring baby home fills me with so much joy. I haven't been able to have fun as a mother until now, and I really like it.
I have to wait three more weeks until my next appointment, so it will be a full four weeks between. They couldn't fit me in with Dr. B earlier, and I really didn't want to see someone else. I'm feeling okay about it. Now. As usual, I was overwhelmed with emotions when surprised. But I will only be feeling baby move around more over the next few weeks.
Having the confidence to say when we bring baby home rather than if we will bring baby home fills me with so much joy. I haven't been able to have fun as a mother until now, and I really like it.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
loving uneventful appointments
My 20 week OB appointment on Tuesday has been one of the best yet! She picked up baby's heartbeat immediately, and we just listened for awhile. This little one is pumping along consistently in the 150s, and is growing right on track. In a few weeks, my short-waisted body will only be able to accommodate growth by going out. And I love it.
As far as the GD discussion goes, I'm supposed to watch my simple sugar intake and cut back. We'll re-test for GD in six to eight weeks. Since I did pass the test, Dr. B thinks this is the best plan. I'm on board. We also talked about weaning off an anti-depressant at 28 weeks. It has tested safe for pregnancy, but in the last trimester has been linked to pulmonary hypertension in the baby at birth. I feel great about that plan because I'm doing better than I have been in the last year, and now, finally, the feelings of excitement are greater than the worries. And I know I'm strong enough to live through a few tough weeks, if that happens to be, to help ensure that baby is healthy.
We talked about delivery for the first time! She's going to switch me to heparin at 36 weeks, and then back to Lovenox or Coumadin for six weeks after delivery. Right now I think I'd rather do the daily injections (which have become no big deal!) than weekly blood tests.
She's also talking about inducing at 39 weeks. I had been thinking that was likely, and definitely not going longer than 40. With the FVL, we just don't need to hang out for very long in that time period when the incidence of clots rise and the placenta starts to tire of its work. Induction really isn't my preference, but if it's for good medical reasons, I'm on board. She said it would depend, too, on what signs my body is showing. So we'll see. But we have a good while to continue the conversation and for me to get used to the idea. Please share good induction experiences to help ease my mind. :)
We'll see baby again at 28 weeks for a growth check. That will have been 10 weeks since the last ultrasound and the longest we've gone without a peek! I see Dr. B again in three weeks, and hopefully growing baby will be tumbling around a lot for my reassurance.
And I'm feeling baby every day now! It's very subtle, silly anterior placenta, but there. When I'm in bed and baby's moving, Paul reaches for my belly quickly. He's just so anxious to feel baby, too. I love it.
I'm just so in love with my little family! And of course, that includes the cats. We have family snuggle time on the bed for sleeping. :)
As far as the GD discussion goes, I'm supposed to watch my simple sugar intake and cut back. We'll re-test for GD in six to eight weeks. Since I did pass the test, Dr. B thinks this is the best plan. I'm on board. We also talked about weaning off an anti-depressant at 28 weeks. It has tested safe for pregnancy, but in the last trimester has been linked to pulmonary hypertension in the baby at birth. I feel great about that plan because I'm doing better than I have been in the last year, and now, finally, the feelings of excitement are greater than the worries. And I know I'm strong enough to live through a few tough weeks, if that happens to be, to help ensure that baby is healthy.
We talked about delivery for the first time! She's going to switch me to heparin at 36 weeks, and then back to Lovenox or Coumadin for six weeks after delivery. Right now I think I'd rather do the daily injections (which have become no big deal!) than weekly blood tests.
She's also talking about inducing at 39 weeks. I had been thinking that was likely, and definitely not going longer than 40. With the FVL, we just don't need to hang out for very long in that time period when the incidence of clots rise and the placenta starts to tire of its work. Induction really isn't my preference, but if it's for good medical reasons, I'm on board. She said it would depend, too, on what signs my body is showing. So we'll see. But we have a good while to continue the conversation and for me to get used to the idea. Please share good induction experiences to help ease my mind. :)
We'll see baby again at 28 weeks for a growth check. That will have been 10 weeks since the last ultrasound and the longest we've gone without a peek! I see Dr. B again in three weeks, and hopefully growing baby will be tumbling around a lot for my reassurance.
And I'm feeling baby every day now! It's very subtle, silly anterior placenta, but there. When I'm in bed and baby's moving, Paul reaches for my belly quickly. He's just so anxious to feel baby, too. I love it.
I'm just so in love with my little family! And of course, that includes the cats. We have family snuggle time on the bed for sleeping. :)
Monday, October 11, 2010
20 weeks - halfway!!
Each day brings me closer to checking off another milestone on my list! Hitting 20 weeks yesterday has to be the funnest one yet. I'm in baby mode. On Friday, Paul and I went around town to Babies R Us and Baby Depot to play with some car seats, strollers and pack-and-plays. No purchases yet, but now we have some preferences that aren't based only on customer reviews and colors. Now it's time to start making calls to find a place for this little one to go come May.
The more I read about cloth diapering and learn the language, the more excited I am. (We'll likely use disposables right away and then keep some on hand for some outings and emergencies.) What brands/styles do you prefer? Where do you buy them? I'm thinking about a mix of perfect fits and all-in-ones, but I need advice about quantities if planning to wash every other day. Share your thoughts, ladies!
It's just so fun to talk about baby stuff and believe we'll actually get to use it soon! I just crave small hints of normalcy. :)
milestone timeline
see heartbeat
finish progesterone
14 weeks
18 weeks
20 weeks
24 weeks
28 weeks
37 weeks
baby in my arms
The more I read about cloth diapering and learn the language, the more excited I am. (We'll likely use disposables right away and then keep some on hand for some outings and emergencies.) What brands/styles do you prefer? Where do you buy them? I'm thinking about a mix of perfect fits and all-in-ones, but I need advice about quantities if planning to wash every other day. Share your thoughts, ladies!
It's just so fun to talk about baby stuff and believe we'll actually get to use it soon! I just crave small hints of normalcy. :)
milestone timeline
24 weeks
28 weeks
37 weeks
baby in my arms
Friday, September 24, 2010
so in love
My heart is so full. I don't know how it's possible, but I love this little one more and more each day.
We saw baby again today at our ultrasound. I thought we were doing just a quick check again, but she ended up doing the full anatomy scan. Baby is measuring right on track! The head and stomach are measuring about 18w4 (I'm 17w5d), but the femur is about a week behind the head. I'm short, so that just made me laugh. Overall, everything looks GREAT. We saw two arms, two legs, two kidneys, one bladder, a four-chambered heart that's beating 150 bpm, a three-vesseled cord, an adorable spine, a perfect amount of fluid, the list goes on. We do NOT know the sex, however. The tech promised she wouldn't put it in the report, and I don't think she spent much time looking.
We had my favorite tech again today, and she tells us what she's seeing and will tell us if that measurement is normal to the extent she can. She knows our story and is sympathetic to me wanting to know as much as possible. She also just let us watch baby for a bit. Baby was tumbling all over the place!
We were having a hard time getting a great face profile shot, but we do have a great frontal shot of baby's head, albeit bit skeletor looking, that is made cuter because we see a nice round belly and a sweet little hand waving. *I promise to put pictures up someday. First I need to get a new camera, and that is quickly becoming a priority.*
A fun surprise for the day - after she was done with the scan, she asked if they could use a new machine that a rep was showing today. Of course - it was extra time to watch baby! It was a lot of fun. The rep and two more techs joined (I always seem to have a party in my exam rooms) and looked all over. We even got to see baby in 4D! Of course, baby had already put on the show and decided to nap for this portion of the scan, so we didn't get a bunch of good pictures, but that's okay. I hope the hospital decides to purchase the new machine so we can get some good 4D pictures when baby is a little chubbier. :)
As soon as I saw baby wiggling around on the screen, I felt the biggest relief. It has been a rough week. I'd been worrying about today's scan, and Wednesday was the date when I miscarried the first baby. I've been keeping it together just enough to get through the work day, but it was definitely a marginal week as far as work completed. I'm sure that the worrying and stress is a part of what is making me so tired. This weekend is for relaxing, growing baby, and maybe playing a bit of piano for baby. I pray constantly, and only that gives me peace.
I bought the cutest pair of faux baby Birkenstocks, and they came in the mail yesterday. Today I saw the perfect little foot that will wear them.
Monday, August 16, 2010
ultrasound update, sharing the news, and a limp
I am WAY behind with this update, and now there are lots of things on my mind...
I am now 12 weeks with this baby, and though statistic don't do much to ease my mind since I seem to defy many, I try to remind myself that in MOST cases, pregnancies progress very well after this point.
On Friday, August 6 we had another peek at our little one! We were back in for an ultrasound and had my favorite tech. I was so excited when she called us back because she will tell us what she sees. She doesn't interpret, but she gives us the facts.
Baby was measuring 11 weeks that day - three days ahead! I love to see that growth! The heart rate was great at 171. Baby was tumbling all over the place, and we saw lots of good dancing going on. Paul did his job well and asked for pictures. Even though we were feeling good after leaving the ultrasound, we still went upstairs to talk to the nurse just for extra peace of mind. And all is good. All is very good. I go back to my doctor next Monday at 13 weeks.
I am at my parents' for a long weekend, and a lot of family is home. I only see my aunts and uncles once a year because they live in New York and Chicago, so it's fun to see these little cousins.
But I don't feel comfortable talking about this pregnancy. My mom caught me off guard by announcing with my aunt's family, "so did Karin tell you she's pregnant?" I HATE those surprises. I don't have the ability to go along with the flow quite so easily anymore. I need to be prepared. Everyone turned and looked at me, and said congratulations. That's great, but I don't like being the center of attention. I feel like we've already been through this before, and people will just wonder if this one is going to work. I wonder if we'll take home this baby. I don't need to assure others when I have a hard enough time assuring myself.
I told my mom later that I didn't appreciate an announcement to a group, and she thought it was fine because we're all family. It was still a big group to me. She said she'd tell my uncle's family before I came home. I don't know if she did. Or if she told them I don't want to talk about it. Maybe it's easier to pretend I'm not pregnant until I have a big belly.
Everything seems too complicated to simply be excited.
Aaaaannnnnnnnd here's the current ridiculousness...I partially tore my Achilles tendon. While drinking lemonade. Sitting at a picnic table. My chiropractor thinks it started when I sprained my ankle last month (I managed to roll it twice in one day), and since then I've been walking to compensate, which has caused the muscles and tendons to shorten and tighten. It was ready to pop. And pop it did, followed by a shooting pain up my calf.
It's a good thing the chiropractor in my hometown is a family friend who was willing to see me at his office on a Saturday afternoon! He worked the muscles, and although I was in a tremendous amount of pain later, it has been much, much better. So I'm spending my vacation in a La-Z-boy with an ice pack on my elevated foot. Worst case scenario: he'll put me in a boot when I go back this afternoon.
Oh well. Hopefully it will match the dress I'm wearing to my brother-in-law's wedding on Friday. The second part of my vacation is in a lake/resort town later this week. I'll be a limping, pregnant bundle of fun! :)
I am now 12 weeks with this baby, and though statistic don't do much to ease my mind since I seem to defy many, I try to remind myself that in MOST cases, pregnancies progress very well after this point.
On Friday, August 6 we had another peek at our little one! We were back in for an ultrasound and had my favorite tech. I was so excited when she called us back because she will tell us what she sees. She doesn't interpret, but she gives us the facts.
Baby was measuring 11 weeks that day - three days ahead! I love to see that growth! The heart rate was great at 171. Baby was tumbling all over the place, and we saw lots of good dancing going on. Paul did his job well and asked for pictures. Even though we were feeling good after leaving the ultrasound, we still went upstairs to talk to the nurse just for extra peace of mind. And all is good. All is very good. I go back to my doctor next Monday at 13 weeks.
*****
I am at my parents' for a long weekend, and a lot of family is home. I only see my aunts and uncles once a year because they live in New York and Chicago, so it's fun to see these little cousins.
But I don't feel comfortable talking about this pregnancy. My mom caught me off guard by announcing with my aunt's family, "so did Karin tell you she's pregnant?" I HATE those surprises. I don't have the ability to go along with the flow quite so easily anymore. I need to be prepared. Everyone turned and looked at me, and said congratulations. That's great, but I don't like being the center of attention. I feel like we've already been through this before, and people will just wonder if this one is going to work. I wonder if we'll take home this baby. I don't need to assure others when I have a hard enough time assuring myself.
I told my mom later that I didn't appreciate an announcement to a group, and she thought it was fine because we're all family. It was still a big group to me. She said she'd tell my uncle's family before I came home. I don't know if she did. Or if she told them I don't want to talk about it. Maybe it's easier to pretend I'm not pregnant until I have a big belly.
Everything seems too complicated to simply be excited.
*****
Aaaaannnnnnnnd here's the current ridiculousness...I partially tore my Achilles tendon. While drinking lemonade. Sitting at a picnic table. My chiropractor thinks it started when I sprained my ankle last month (I managed to roll it twice in one day), and since then I've been walking to compensate, which has caused the muscles and tendons to shorten and tighten. It was ready to pop. And pop it did, followed by a shooting pain up my calf.
It's a good thing the chiropractor in my hometown is a family friend who was willing to see me at his office on a Saturday afternoon! He worked the muscles, and although I was in a tremendous amount of pain later, it has been much, much better. So I'm spending my vacation in a La-Z-boy with an ice pack on my elevated foot. Worst case scenario: he'll put me in a boot when I go back this afternoon.
Oh well. Hopefully it will match the dress I'm wearing to my brother-in-law's wedding on Friday. The second part of my vacation is in a lake/resort town later this week. I'll be a limping, pregnant bundle of fun! :)
Monday, August 9, 2010
a case of the mondays
I have a case of the Mondays today. I have a case of the Mondays every week.
My first miscarriage was on a Monday. I spent most of the day in the ER, and it was easily the worst day of my life. With my second miscarriage, we found out on Friday there was no heartbeat, and on Monday I had the D&C. I spent the morning waiting at home, hungry because I couldn't eat and thinking about what was to come. But the waiting area was the worst. Just sitting there waiting to become empty.
My babies left my body on Mondays.
The dates of the miscarriages don't get to me when they come around each month, and I really don't count the months. Instead, each week starts with difficulty because bed just feels like a nicer place to spend the day. Sunday nights hold sadness because Monday means re-entering the real world.
My doctor schedules OB appointments for Monday mornings and Friday afternoons. I can't help but think that just offers the possibility of more bad Mondays. My next appointments is two weeks from today. Maybe I'll hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time. I will gladly take that on a Monday.
My first miscarriage was on a Monday. I spent most of the day in the ER, and it was easily the worst day of my life. With my second miscarriage, we found out on Friday there was no heartbeat, and on Monday I had the D&C. I spent the morning waiting at home, hungry because I couldn't eat and thinking about what was to come. But the waiting area was the worst. Just sitting there waiting to become empty.
My babies left my body on Mondays.
The dates of the miscarriages don't get to me when they come around each month, and I really don't count the months. Instead, each week starts with difficulty because bed just feels like a nicer place to spend the day. Sunday nights hold sadness because Monday means re-entering the real world.
My doctor schedules OB appointments for Monday mornings and Friday afternoons. I can't help but think that just offers the possibility of more bad Mondays. My next appointments is two weeks from today. Maybe I'll hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time. I will gladly take that on a Monday.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
double digits and a purchase
I'm 10 weeks pregnant today! That means we've known for six weeks, and I can't decide if they've gone by quickly or slowly. Now I'm counting down the days 'til our next ultrasound...five more. I can't wait to see baby again and see how those little arms and legs will have grown!
Yesterday I went shopping with my sister-in-law and made my first baby purchase! We wandered into the baby section of Old Navy, and there was a sale. I decided this was absolutely necessary:
It felt good to buy something for baby, like I actually believe I'll bring her or him home in February. I feel like I have to nudge my excitement a bit, but I'll get there.
Yesterday I went shopping with my sister-in-law and made my first baby purchase! We wandered into the baby section of Old Navy, and there was a sale. I decided this was absolutely necessary:
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